And by “proud,” I mean exactly the opposite.
1. This kid who invented a new function for tape.
Ears down, nose up—genius.
2. The kid who wants to warn his Uncle about the evils of Satan.
3. This little girl who balks at societal norms and loves her whore family regardless.
4. The future activist who isn’t afraid of using violence if necessary.
5. The kid who threw an impromptu intervention for his grandma who’s addicted to coffee.
6. The kid who already knows how to give zero fucks.
7. The kid who knows exactly what he wants to eat.
8. The future window washer.
9. The kid who has the ability to terrify with a single smile.
10. The kid who discovered a new way to wear pants.
11. The boy who bravely performed an exorcism on his baby brother during a photo shoot.
12. The aspiring zookeeper who has big plans for hippos and elephants.
13. The Paula Deen fan who likes to coat herself in butter before each meal.
14. The fashionista who’s using bowls as accessories.
15. The kid who does a great impression of what you should never do with pretzels.
16. The lothario who doesn’t see species, just opportunities.
17. The kid who isn’t afraid of death, because THERE IS ONLY LIFE.
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES.
18. The kid who loves being a backseat driver so much that he screams about it.
19. This artist.
20. The enthusiastic gynecologist.
21. The kid who isn’t letting horrible spelling skills get in the way of his future novel.
22. These kids who just want to make sure the plumbing is working at all times.
23. These kids who plan on living a life of leisure.
24. The extremely determined dentist.
25. The kid who knows where bad people go.
26. And the kid who won’t be celebrating St. Patrick’s Day under any circumstances.