By Robert Manni,
Rule Number One:
There is No Fight Club.
Let’s begin with that thought in mind.
In my opinion, there are no set rules when it comes to guys, gals and dating. I believe that women and men deserve respect as adults who can think for themselves. There are lots of books on this subject. Most of them written by women for women. Now don’t take this the wrong way. I respect everyone’s right to have an opinion and everyone’s right to buy a book on someone’s perspective about building successful relationships. And all of this is just one guy’s point of view. There’s one thing to consider though, most of the books about men are written by women. I’m more of a fan when the writers are accredited experts, psychologists or doctors of human behavior who address their subject matter from a purely objective perspective. But, we know that’s rarely the case. So many times, it’s ladies telling ladies what they need to know about men. There’s only one problem with that approach. They’re not men and as we know, it’s not easy to crawl inside the head of the opposite sex.
How Guys Roll
For better or for worse, when it comes to love, most men wing it. Sorry ladies, but that’s how most guys dive into the dating pool. With a nod to today’s technology, a guy sees a woman he likes and strikes up a conversation. From there, it’s on. Sometimes things work out, many times they don’t.
Women’s Rules About Guys
I’ve read the most popular books on this subject and found them well-intended and well-written with some excellent tips for ladies about how to steer a relationship. Bravo. ,Thumbs down, though, when they declare an unbreakable code of actions and behaviors. I’m also a tad disturbed by what I’ve interpreted as a controlling tonality and preying on women’s self-esteem. You know, where they tell you that the guy doesn’t find you attractive (gee, thanks) or some laundry list of do’s and don’ts about how to interact with men. Maybe it’s me, but the women I know are whip-smart, successful and capable of making good decisions. I wonder why women find it necessary to live by other women’s standards and specific behaviors. Just asking. Not responding to an electronic message before a set number of hours have elapsed? Really? I assume this is meant to be empowering, but a woman needing to be told how long to wait for anything? Women deserve better, especially from other women. And as a guy, I’m not crazy about some of what I’ve read and interpreted as generalizations about men, like we were beamed down from Planet Neanderthal. Love is a two-way street. Let’s look for ways to treat everyone with respect so we can all enjoy the ride. Grammar school was a good venue for digesting someone’s list of do’s and don’ts. We’re all adults here.
What Can We Do?
We all have our issues, but men and women aren’t that different. We’re searching for the same things in life. And when you get to the heart of it, everyone needs to be loved.