Why Most People Are Unhappy With Relationships, Love, and Dating
By Robert Hill Sr.
1. You can’t dwell on what went wrong forever. Eventually you have to accept the past, the mistakes that came with it, and do what’s needed to make things right. Even if that means letting go of something that was once special to you. Just because it didn’t work out one time doesn’t mean things have to go bad forever.
2. Stop giving everything you have to offer to people who have nothing to offer in return. It’s important to be equally yoked and have balance. If you’re big on communication, you need somebody who knows how to express themselves. If they aren’t willing and capable to exceed or match the effort you put in, then you’re wasting your time with them.
3. If there are no risks, then there will be no rewards. Pleasure is only pleasure because you understand pain. Take chances on love. The only lessons that hurt forever are the ones we refuse to learn from. If you want the reward of a “happily ever after” then you have to risk being emotionally uncomfortable now. Have the hope and faith to allow something to be new for you again. Believe in the strength of your heart.
4. You can’t control everything and you don’t have to. When you allow things to happen naturally, they tend to happen better and to last longer. Stop thinking that being in control will protect you from getting hurt because it won’t; all it will do is limit your happiness and confuse you emotionally. If you feel the need to control it then that means you don’t trust it, and if you don’t trust it then that means you aren’t ready to have it.
5. Believe that “better” is possible for you. Not everybody wants to play games and tell lies. There are some people out there, just like you, who genuinely want a lasting healthy relationship. Don’t limit your future based on your past. You went through all that you went through to learn from it, not to hide from it. Don’t let life steal your hope for love. Pain is only temporary but pessimism can’t make it seem permanent.
6. Be willing to give somebody a fair chance. Yes, hurt people can hurt people but not everybody is hurt. Some people are healed and capable of showing you different, but only if you let them. You can’t start everybody off in the negative and get mad when you get no positive results. Be strong enough to handle things person by person; you can’t put everybody in a box just because you’ve dated with a closed mind.
7. Let go of the people who aren’t putting forth the effort needed to keep you in their lives. If they’re sleeping on the job, then let them miss out. Nobody should need an incentive to value treasure so if you’re a good catch, then be just that, but don’t waste your time trying to prove it to people that aren’t worthy. Understand that just because you think you want somebody doesn’t mean that person deserves to have you.
8. Not settling works both ways. Don’t settle for a relationship with just anybody and don’t settle for not trying at all just because things didn’t workout before. If you know you have a good heart, if you know you have a lot to offer, and if real love means something to you, then don’t give up on what you deserve. You can’t help who you love but you can help who you play the fool for, so be smarter not bitter. The only thing to fear is being forced to realize that you’re miserable by choice because you’re too scared to go after what really makes you happy.
9. Be patient enough to make it right. Be committed enough to make it strong. Be honest enough to keep it pure. Trust in your ability to make the right decision for your heart. Stop thinking about how the past hurt you and start being thankful for what it taught you. The only people that ever love and lose are the ones who didn’t love and learn. There’s a lesson in every bit of pain, and if you’re patient, honest, and committed to not only learning the lesson but also applying what you’ve learned, happiness and love are inevitable for you.
10. Don’t expect things to be perfect and don’t expect anything to be easy. Even a good relationship will face bad times, but if the two are smart they’ll work with love instead of fighting with pride. If you want real love, you have to be built for any weather. The love has to be unconditional and your effort has to be unwavering. If you’re not willing to give it your all, you’ll lose it all, but there’s a lesson to learn in the things we “lose”: Sometimes it takes losing a good thing to find a great one. If you really believe love is meant for you to have, then you’ll do what you have to do to get it, and once you have it, you’ll do what’s required to keep it. If not, then it’s just not for you.